Whistle While You Work, or Why I Rock

So I walk in to the office today, and there is like no one there. Only the managers and supervisors and me…so not sure what is going on, I join the meeting, and my boss just keeps going with his supervisor training that he is doing today. Mind you I am not a supervisor yet. At the end of the meeting, I can see my boss pointing me out as he is finishing the training, and talking to me like I already am a supervisor. I know that if things continue to go smoothly this week, that promotion could come as early as next week, which would be fantastic, but to have my boss looking at me and talking to me like I am already one of the leaders on his team feels really juicy.

To top it all off, as we’re getting ready to leave the office, the results from a two week sales contest come in. Out of three offices, four of us were going to be selected, based on our sales and performance, to be guests of DirecTV, in their luxury box suite, to a catered event at Coors field for one of the Colorado Rockies games next week. Aside from the fanfare of July 4th fireworks that night, we will be given the royal treatment, with a catered affair and prime AIR CONDITIONED viewing of the game as stars of the company from three different offices. O the four winners, three were from our office, and I WAS ONE OF THE WINNERS!!!!!!!!!

It is so nice to be recognized for achievement, but even more gratifying to see that my boss and fellow coworkers were actually happy for me that I had won. Hrs work is one thing, but hard work accompanied by the genuine support of the people you se every day makes work simply a joy and a payday every time I go in.

It’s been a real long time since I’ve allowed myself to feel this good about myself. And yes at a couple points today the threat of tears did come through. I am overwhelmed by the good fortune I have had over the past month. I am overjoyed that I have been able to grab it and make absolutely the most that I know how with it. I am astounded that for the first time I my life I can envision and see so many of my most incredible dreams coming true, and that I can see true and total happiness within my grasp and within my control. This also comes with a fear and knowledge that I have a distinct talent for self sabotage. This time thou, I have a stronger resolve than I have ever felt to not let myself get scared. No more what ifs or woulda shoulda couldas. This time, I have the opportunity and the ability and the authority to make it happen. I will make my dreams come true. Not because I have to or I am afraid not to, but because if these small victories feel this good, I can’t wait to see what it feels like when the dreams I have really do come true!

Smells Like Teen Spirit, or Why I Want a Car YESTERDAY

Ok so i am exaggerating a little bit…

But how stupid does it feel when your supervisor invites you to dinner, you think you have it all planned out, and then AFTER dinner, you realize you read the bus schedule wrong…?

This I now know…because I am a dork, and I did read the bus / light rail schedule wrong…thankfully I have a supervisor who is good natured and friendly, and who has allowed me to sleep on his couch. So here I am, almost 37, kind of feeling stupid that I am taking to the charity of a 25 year old…

At least he didn’t just tell me to find a way home, and at least my pride wasn’t so fragile that’s was afraid to admit I was a dork and pretend all was good…so I may be a little rough around the edges for work tomorrow…I’ve dealt with worse circumstances…and at least now I know that I am of course a valued member of the team since we had breakfast this morning for the second time, AND I had been invited to dinner tonight, and after being a total dork, he still (at least at this point) seems to look at me like I am generally a good guy…

Things could be a lot worse…

Better Busy Than Bored

So it’s always nice when the guy training you offers to take you out to breakfast. It will officially be a week at work today, and I get the impression they are pretty pleased with me. The people at work seem to all be very friendly, if not sometimes bordering on the cheesy side, but at the same time, it makes the day go by pretty quickly when we spend our first hour of the day I. Some sort of training mode, with all the excitement, and then go out into the field to do our sales work.

It’s not my ideal job, to be perfectly honest, but there is some pretty good opportunity to move up rather quickly, and while I feel like I am doing well here, I know there is somewhere else I would rather be, doing something that I am happier doing. I can honestly say I LIKE this Jon, but I am also pretty sure it is something that I do not think I will ever LOVE doing, if that makes sense.

For now, I have stopped sending out new resumes, and am taking a little more of a passive approach to things, but that stems more from just the sheer time constraint involved in an hour to hour and a half commute each ay to work on public transit. I don’t mind taking the bus / light rail, but I know that I will have a lot more time once I get back on my feet and get a car again. I did hate having a car payment, but there was also an incredible amount of pride that I felt in knowing that I was back to a pace in my life where I could afford to take on.

I’ll be getting back to that soon, and soon will be able to do it without needing so much help from friends. Somehow I can just feel it.

Side by Side

Yes I am stealing from the great composer, Stephen Sondheim . But it goes without saying that I do have some really great friends…

One of those great friends got me out of the house, and got me to have a GREAT time at the casino, a place that I normally do not go to or particularly think of as a good time. The fact that I was up about $100 by the end of the night I am sure helped, but more important was the good company. It helped me realize how much I enjoy being social, and how little I have been social and about town, really for a number of years. Either I have not been a position to be social like I would like to be, or I have been in a relationship unhealthy enough on some level that I either didn’t want to (or perhaps was too ashamed to) be out for public consumption.

I think it is high time that I start returning to the type of me that I remember once made me so happy, and that incidentally led me to be in the company of the kind of people I wanted to have in my life. I would normally say that I am still right now not in a position to be going out on the town, but there is also a part of me that feels like a Wednesday night just might be a good night for a warm up, and there’s a new bar in town that I’ve heard good things about. There’s also that extra hundred bucks that I hadn’t planned for that I “earned” , not that I’ll spend it all in one place, and not that I’m sure there aren’t better places for me to be spending it, but I think at least a little bit of that money would be well spent on finding an old friend: me.

Resounding Resolution

Sometimes things work out in funny ways…

Just when I thought things could not get more convoluted with Steven, things have started to go just the way I wanted. The tension has released, the passion has become even more explosive than it already was, we talk so much more and have GREAT talks. Now I notice all the little things that make him and us so special.

I have wanted something like this for so long. The best part is I really believe that not only can this last, it can keep getting better…

Ironic Karma Moment

Congratulations Mark Ferrandino!

I know I say so often that Karma never needs help, but every once in a while, Karma really gives one back to the good guys.  Today, after winning another term in the state legislature, Mark Ferrandino was elected Speaker of the House.  All of this is accomplishment in and of itself.  While Mr. Ferrandino can rest on many laurels and accolades, there is an ironic note to add to this newest moment in his impressive career of service.  As an openly gay legislator in a typically conservative climate, Mark Ferrandino has sponsored the House bill to legalize civil unions in Colorado each of the past two years.  Last year, his testimony and passioned campaigning to support this bill helped to create a situation in which passage of the bill seemed inevitable.  That was when the then Speaker of the House, a Republican, single handedly stalled action on the house floor, and prevented the bill from being heard. The bipartisan commentary on how inappropriate these actions were was viral, and it was somewhat evident that there would be backlash, which was felt when Republicans lost their majority in the House on Tuesday.  It has already been agreed that the Civil Unions Bill Mr. Ferrandino is again sponsoring will be fast-tracjed in January.

How appropriate that a champion of doing what is right will get the chance to let his own gavel fall on a piece of legislation that is now much overdue.  I hope I can be there to support not only a bill that impacts my own life, but to honor an individual who clearly deserves to have a moment like this.

Why Karma Never Needs Help

This summer has not been an easy one, but nonetheless it is one that I am ever thankful for, and the results of it are anything but extraordinary:  despite all of the bad, much has now come full circle again.  I feel almost complete, but a hell of a lot more so than I did before it all began.  I got rid of a lot of the bad things in my life this summer:  people that were dragging me down and holding me back, vices that were making it impossible for me to feel like anything but a hypocrite and a joke to myself, and attitudes that were making it impossible for me to envision, let alone achieve the things that I wanted for myself.  I have stared to put back into my life the things that really matter to me:  I researched apartments for myself last week; I visited a skating rink and am looking for a place to get my blades sharpened; I went to Church for the first time in a LONG ass time.

There have been some really hard days, but there have been some incredible people who have helped me through them, and I will never be able to fully repay the efforts of these individuals to come close to all of the good that has come to me in literally just the last 24 hours.  Aspire, my dream and my labor of love, will launch it’s first major philanthropic campaign in November with a huge event.  We have a venue, we have supporters, we have a vision, and we have an incredible concept for not only the launch party of the Fairygodmother Project, but for the launch party as well.  Today, after over three years of being unemployed, I was made an offer for a job working with the State, and working back in one of my most comfortable elements.  This job will not only allow me to support myself, but I know it will keep me energized, and will allow and ignite a fire to continue my work with Aspire.  Tonight, I was recognized as one of the 25 most influential young business professionals in Colorado:  an honor which I am overwhelmed and astonished to have such esteemed company.  At the event, I also received a cabled package worth over $2000 that will allow me, along with the new job, to get a new place that I truly WANT, rather than one that I can just afford.  I also got a text that one such place, originally out of my price range (but not anymore), has just come available and I could move in as early as October 1.

I have said it before, I will say it again, and I hope that those who hear it will keep believing:  KARMA NEVER NEEDS HELP.  I know a lot of people who have had their own difficulties over this past spring and summer, and I have continued to say to them that we are good people; as long as we stick together, good things will happen for us, because we are good people and we deserve them.  It’s been a long time since I’ve felt so right about something, and just as long since I have felt so good about so many things.

For those who are starting to turn the corner, keep going.  We all need to stick together to maintain this momentum.  To those who are still struggling, I am sending my energy your way.  I want to stick with all of you because 1)  KARMA NEVER NEEDS HELP, and 2) WE ARE ALL GOOD PEOPLE, AND WE ALL NEED TO STICK TOGETHER:  STICKING TOGETHER, GOOD THINGS WILL HAPEN FOR US BECAUSE WE ARE GOOD PEOPLE AND WE DESERVE IT.

Enough of me on my soapbox for tonight.