Parting…Such Sweet Sorrow…Yeah Right…

So I have a bone to pick with some folks.  My disappointment – and yes in some cases anger – lies not in the choices you have made.  It lies not in the fact, although I had originally hoped otherwise, that we would maintain the relationships we had created before any tensions might have been created.  My issue is with your character, or particularly lack thereof.  Why you would tell me one thing and then move in a completely different direction speaks to your inability to tell the truth and own your shit.  I have no problem conceding that I have my faults and that I have done things at times that were less than reflective of the person that I try to be.  That being said, one thing I can say with confidence:  I own my shit, and I have  made great efforts to provide a complete and fair picture of questionable or dicey situations when speaking to you.  Some of you have even commented that my accounts, while perhaps at times more informative or blunt than necessary, are of a particular fairness and consistency.  My intention was never to undermine your opinions of any other person involved in a given situation, or to raise myself above repute.  Again, I own my shit.  It has become quite clear to me, however, that there are others who are incapable of taking responsibility for themselves or their choices, so much so, as to lie to me and then lead me on until I have to realize for myself that this is their character.  This has nothing to do with the players that I was involved with when speaking to you about the situation.  This has to do with you and your deception and lack of character.  I thought I had made it very clear that I was not trying to put you or anyone else in the middle of this, and that I gave you every opportunity to give me an honest answer about what choices you made – and yes I now realize you made them probably long before any lies that you told me.  So you lied, or maybe changed your mind; I’m a big boy, I can handle something like that.  Instead you backed yourself – and me – into a corner, building further stress and tension, that I had already given you the opportunity to avoid.  You had your chance to tell me what you thought of me when I came to you and engaged you in a conversation about what was going on.  The least you could have done was given me the respect of being honest with me.  Again, unfortunately, this is about your character, which I now realize sucks ass.  Bottom line:  a lot of unnecessary energy for both of us could have been better utilized, instead of my trying to reach out and your having to make up petty excuses because you were not enough of a person to be honest on a number of occasions.  Thank you for wasting my time, but at least now allowing me to carve a place in my life for people that want – and deserve – to be there.

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